God’s Design For Us

Posted by on Mar 18, 2012 in Parenting


a) Students wasting their time attempting to gain an education
Getting a certificate in some area that is totally uninteresting.
Working at something which is a constant struggle.
b) Parishioners watching a decaying world go by while waiting for their “call”. Or wondering what is their “passion”.
c) Old and dying unable to let go and pass on peacefully.
d) Grieving people who can’t tolerate sorrow so they have an artificial “celebration of a life”
e) Post abortion families who cannot mourn the loss of a preborn baby.
f) Post neglect patients who can’t get over their anger.
g) People who struggle to decide what God want them to do next.
h) Counselees who become dependent, afraid to let go of their therapist.
i) Recidivist criminals who still dream of getting rich quick.
j) Resent rather than enjoy artists, preachers, politicians who gain adulation for performing at something; “I know I could have done better if only someone had given me a chance.”
k) Parents refuse to accept their child’s individuality and drive them to become someone else only to encounter resentment and rebellion.
l) Dancing and Urching, still attempting to find the essential ingredients of the person you should have become.
m) Constantly falling for false ambitions, therapies, courses, lotteries that promise to bring you happiness if not contentment.
n) Unrealistic expectations of ourselves, trying too hard or not enough.
o) Unrealistic expectations of our children, pushing too hard or not hard enough.
p) Judging others, not at all or too harshly.
q) Self condemnation, eg. I failed and I shouldn’t have.
r) Scapegoating. They are the cause of all our problems.

II In the Beginning, God.

a) The mighty I AM. God always was, is and will be. He is permanent. Permanence defines what is reality. Any force, matter, time or concept is real to the extent it is permanent.
Truth is the best description of reality that is available. Those most
in touch with reality are best able to describe it.
Messiah Jesus is God’s Word, Truth, Way and Life.

b) God is Absolutely Holy. He and His permanent universe cannot tolerate
imperfection or disloyalty. (It would bring ruin to everything
by upsetting (mathematical balances) that make permanence
possible. Thus a small imperfection or rebellion in God’s presence
would be immediately incinerated.)

c) God is Always Loving. He desires creatures to love and be loved by.
He especially desires mature people to love and be loved by.
He yearns for real, mature friends.
There is no limit to how many.

d) Parable. A farmer owns a vast field of full of every kind of flower that exists. He gets up early to say good morning to each one.
“Good morning Doris Daisy!
“I’m not Doris, that’s her over there.”
“I know that. I was just checking to see if you remembered the name I gave you. You are Danielle”. ”
“Yes that’s right. How can you remember everyone’s name?”
“It’s because I have a very good memory and because I love each one of you so much”.
“But there are trillions of us” ”
“Actually no. There are 285.775624893 X 10 12 of you. Oops, there is one more. Betty buttercup is just born into a big family of buttercups on that hill about 214. 9812 kilometers from here”.
“Wow are you an amazing farmer. Can we talk for awhile?”
“Sure why not. I’ve got all the time in eternity and I love to chat”
“But I don’t want to take up your time when you really need to say good morning to all the other 285.775624893 X 10 12 of us.”
“Don’t worry, I have time to chat with all of them. Hey! Don’t go to sleep on me.”
“I’m awfully sorry. I guess I was overwhelmed by your size and a little drowsy. We daisies are like that.”
“I know. Remember I planted and cultivated each one of you.”
“They say the field is getting over-crowded and can’t hold all the flowers you plant.”
“Aren’t they silly? They can’t even see all the fields there are. There is plenty of room for every flower that has or will ever exist.”
“Wow! That makes me want to sing.”
“Please do”
” I want to sing about you. It’s kind of flattering. You won’t be embarrassed and walk away?”
“Of course not. When flowers sing about me, its good for them and for each other. Besides if you genuinely say or sing wonderful things about me; well they are all true.”
I will leave you to imagine a vast field with trillions of flowers and in one corner a rather large farmer bending down to hear the soft sweet voice of one daisy who is singing His praises for all the flowers around her to hear.

d) God’s Intention for humans was to create, freely choosing (an apparent paradox) worthy and interesting and perfect friends. (“….all because of what our Lord Jesus has done for us in making us friends of God”) Romans 5:11)

III A Man of Truth. Can you trust me and what I say?
16 objective criteria by which we can make a realistic appraisal.
(Ref. Notes or www.messengers2.com)

a) Amazing, unique, indestructible and individual Humans, by the many trillions

b) Blueprint for each human. A precise enduring “drawing etched on the
best stainless steel in the universe” compose of:
i) Spirit, God given, enduring, God seeking , with wonderful spirit genes that exactly fit the human genes.
ii) male components from male genes in male donated sperm.
iii) female ” from female genes in the ova.
b) Made in the likeness, (image) or God Himself, who is father, mother, brother, sister grandparent etc. to all people if they want Him to be.
c) A little lower than God (Ps 5:8) and higher than angels (I Cor. 6:3)

d) An exact plan for the universe to be made of time, energy and matter to fit the requirements for human life and development. The universe was designed to fit people, not vv as the evolutionists believe.

God’s creation, (Construction)
a) All components, forces, factors worked out in detail
b) Apparently instantaneous upon God’s command “Now”
c) Big Bang required infinite energy, infinite complexity and organization.
d) A human person is created from fusion of God’s life giving spirit, sperm, and ova. Much like the Big Bang, at his start, the infant had the greatest organization and concentration of energy, more than the rest of his earthly life.
e) Humans are essentially spirit, created to be eternal, and procreative designed to expand the number of humans exponentially forever.
f) To make enough room and resources for them all, God made a vast and ever expanding universe with no limit to amount of matter and energy.
g) A human body is a person only as long as 3 components are present. When his spirit leaves it’s okay to
pull the plugs”.
h) Will God infuse a life giving spirit each time sperm and ova genes are fused? I don’t think so.
i) Tiny people are baked in a human womb until just right for exposure to harsh elements of this world with father and mother care.

Our Personal Blue-print. (PBP) is:
a) Made by God, made for eternity.
b) Part of His always loving plan for each person and everyone.
c) Indestructible but shelved and covered with dust by most people.
d) The foundation for what all the activities God has planned for our lives.
e) Absolutely individual. God delights in individuality, (wouldn’t you if you were He).
f) God insists that our individuality is preserved and heightened. He is not keen on class rooms.
g) God has no need for robots. Therefore there is great latitude for doing His will differently as individuals.
h) God’s intention (plan) for us “predated” His design (PBP) which predates His creation of us, which predates His recreation (salvation) then development (sanctification) of us thru life, which predates our maturing thru choices we make in order become His mature friends.

God Guided Development
a) God wanted only those who chose Him, to be His friends.
b) God created choices. In the Garden it was an Evil One and a Tree. At Eden, Adam and Eve had 50:50 probability of choosing to get to know God gradually in a wonderful environment OR receiving the knowledge of good and evil almost instantly. Since that time choices have all been influenced, swayed and not 50:50
c) To have choices, humans needed alternatives, each of which was seductive, luring us to rebel against God and neglect our PBP
d) No individual now has a 50:50 chance of choosing then following God. The many factors over which they have no influence predispose him/her to choose God or the evil one.
e) Although there is no “free will” for individuals, collectively humans have a free choice in choosing to know and follow God.
f) Those who have the God chosen honor of Christian parents have a heavy responsibility to share their privileges
g) When there are few Christians they tend to be of higher quality and courage.
h) God continues to confront people with choices so that they:
i) Mature.
ii) Be pushed to seek and communicate with Him.
iii) Gain wisdom to share with others.
iv) Learn obedience. (Since the angel of light rebelled and God had to quell a riot, He has insisted that everyone, even Christ, learned to obey. God wanted to be able to trust people and have no more rebellions.
v) Because of His longing for mature friends God never lets up, but keeps making life “hard” with hard choices up to the very end of a person’s life. Eg., DAD.
i) Adam and Eve’s wrong choice destroyed their relationship with God and the balances that maintained a perfect permanent world. ( )
j) This alienation from God appeared to ruin His primary purpose for people by having myriad friends. But God had an alternative plan from the very beginning.
k) Since the “fall” the history of mankind has been determined by successes and failures in finding Him again. Eventually people had to admit they (even those especially chosen) could not do it on their own. So God stepped in with His alternative plan.
l) There is no going back. A “flaming sword” keeps us out of the blissful garden. Time only moves in one direction so we cannot relive our lives or benefit from reincarnation.
m) We can get mad but we would have made the same mistake as Adam and Eve.
n) The “fall” of humans was a long way down.
o) Thus every human is presently a long way from who they designed to become.
p) The Person I Should Have Become (PISHB) was truly amazing. We never entirely lose sight of that person because a picture of our PBP is in our brain for eternity.
q) A few people with wonderful parents etc are close but no one apart from Jesus became His PISHB. Thus it is reasonable to conclude, it cannot happen in this life.
r) When you cannot recover, you grieve, if you can.


God’s unwavering intention + Detailed Design + Quality and Quantity and Timing of Materials + Quality of Builders + Time and Effort and Example of Builders + Choices + Self Effort + Life’s exigencies + God’s salvation, sustenance and guidance = You.

Clinical assessment must be over time.
Best if by the person themselves.
Genes + Family Tree + PBP determined needs – Neglect – Abuse + God’s intervention = Realistic Self Expectations.
Do self evaluation beginning with vision of PISHB then all you needed to develop and mature, then % of needs met, then subtract from each the destruction by abuse, then subtract % from bad choices to result in a picture of the person you are.

Everything on a continuum.
Neglect much more damaging.
Verbal abuse never stops, therefore the worst form of abuse.
94% of all mistreatment are combinations of abuse and neglect.
Neglect results in damaged self image and too high and too low expectations of self

a) The first step in regaining, at least in part, the Person I Should Have Become, (PISHB) is to reconcile with God.
b) When human-kind kept either rebelling against God or failing in their best attempts to reconcile, God provided His son Jesus, the Messiah as substitute and sacrifice.
c) The bible is the story of reconciliation and how it failed until the Messiah showed up and provided a perfect way.
d) When people reconcile with God and are saved from eternal death, they expect God to enable them to become their PISHB. Too often when that does not happen, they get mad at themselves for lack of faith or at God because He doesn’t make it easy for them.
e) The trouble is both psychological and spiritual. They misunderstand God’s ways and even if they do understand, cannot accept that His way is always thru suffering and death.
f) Reconciliation required Christ’s death.
g) Reconciliation also requires that we understand how we (PISHB) have already died.
h) The original plan seen in the Garden of Eden was set aside. The alternative plan to becoming a friend of God was now the hard way that we chose.

Fellowship is:
a) For as much time on earth as possible.
b) Death is always an enemy. Let us not embrace it.
c) For eternity for those who are reconciled to God.
d) Also for character building, becoming mature.
e) Obedience training. More and more difficult decisions and tasks as humans age
f) Each opportunity that God makes can be addressed most efficiently by applying one’s blueprint.
g) We are happiest, healthiest, maturingest when we obey God’s command and follow our blueprint.
God gave us a blueprint to become as closely as possible, in a fallen world, to our PISHB.
h) The PISHB died but the blueprint is as good as new.
i) God always commands us to love Him and our nieghbour in line with our blueprint.
j) God’s “perfect will” for us is to live and worship according to our blueprint and His law of Love. In that “will” for us there is plenty of latitude and room for individuality.
k) Choices are now partly predetermined by forces and factors over which we have no influence.
l) Since God made our blueprint so individual, He won’t crush our individuality. Rather, He wants it recognized and heightened. Parents must not try to bring up their children, “all in the same way”
m) Because God doesn’t want to spend eternity with a bunch of big babies, He will keep confronting us with hard choices and challenges so that we will continue to mature till our dying breath.
n) Families are necessary for the development of everyone’s PBP

a) For eternity
b) Yet God is so large being intimate with Him, will not restrict our movements or variety of experiences.

a) Recognizing their blueprint is the best way to assess their potential. Eg. A warehouse full of junk.
b) Best way to challenge and nurture their potential.
c) Love is meeting their needs, which requires knowing their needs at different stages of development.
d) We know their needs by reading their blueprint.
e) Watch children without interacting with them to see what interests them the most and what puzzles occupy the efforts the longest.
f) Given a wide variety of possibilities or lessons, see which one they choose.
g) Their blueprint keeps popping up in their day and night dreams.
h) Tell them your stories and listen carefully to theirs. These are no little lies.
i) Spend time at a wide variety of activities and environments with each one alone
j) Children are content if their needs are met. They will be quarrelsome and in loud rivalries when dissatisfied.
k) They will also show their dissatisfaction when getting too much, eg. pushing on the swing. They have a built in satiation index.
l) Every child intuitively knows their blueprint but it fades as those who know better push them to become a “happy and successful and productive citizens.
m) Children struggle trying to listen to their parents, pastors and teachers while being pressed from within to follow their blueprint.
n) When they become successful adults, they fight a growing anger. Why did they push me to learn something I don’t like doing, ever?
o) The discrepancy between doing what they are told and the direction and push from their PBP is the root of much anger and distractibility in school.
p) “And now it’s too late to change.”
q) Child neglect can only be ascertained by comparing what the child is receiving. Even a child brought up with a plethora of toys and tutors can be badly neglected if they did not receive art lessons as indicated by their PBP.

a) What is the normal value? You can only state it is abnormal if you use the individual’s blueprint as the standard. Means are of very little value. You can recognize the individuals PBP level by repeated measures from infancy, in a wide variety of health and illnesses.
b) Use individual biochemistry to determine what medication and how much the person’s needs for treatment or pain control.
c) Use individual as own control in assessing the effectiveness of drug or program.
d) Establish educational programs in which people are graded according to their blueprint.
e) Parents should know their children’s blueprint better than anyone else, including professionals.
f) Parents share the child’s genes. Thus intuitively understands what the child is feeling and thinking.
g) Mother has child’s DNA residing in her brain and thus anticipates the child’s next stage of development.

a) The discrepancy is too discouraging.
b) Cannot deal with the sorrow and anger when look at blueprint.
c) Wrong teaching: You can still do it.
You can be anything you want, if you really try.
You might still win the lottery.
d) Basis for materialism and advertising.
e) Selling romance. “If you wish upon a star.” “Just keep hoping and praying and you will find your soul-mate.”
f) Deception. Don’t listen to them. You can learn anything you want.
g) Bad preaching. God can remove your mountains. Just have faith.
h) Bad counseling. We will get to the bottom of this yet and then you will be as right as rain.
i) Movie stars and other unrealistic models.
j) Fairy tales. Once upon a time…And they lived happily ever after.
k) Preaching “your passion” which is based on feeling good.
l) There is no or little possibility of obtaining the necessary ingredients to become the PISHB. Yet children even in the most awful poverty will hang on tenaciously to their hopes and dreams from their PBP.

a) choose wrong work, career, and life’s mission.
b) Choose wrong mate. Ref. Assortative mating from need to reenact unresolved earlier conflict.
c) Unrealistic hopes put on you. Eg. Jewish mothers leading to disappointment and sometimes suicide.
d) Never satisfied like the Honey bee is.
e) Blame others for failures.
f) Scape-goating of helpless, poor, preborn.
g) Persistent depression.
h) Difficulty grieving.
i) Waste of time and effort.
j) Tend to become cynics and manipulators.
k) Become resistance fighters, demanding “a fair share” at gunpoint.
l) If you cannot see your PBP, it is unlikely you will see your child’s.
m) You may try to coerce your children to fulfill your unrecognized dreams.

a) Use God driven dreams.
b) Use God driven imagination, daydreams and never written stories.
c) Spend day attempting to be the PISHB.
d) Discover, Describe and Discard Dancer and Urchin.
e) Discover and Present Pilgrim.
f) Share description of D & U, asking for correction.
g) Watch the emergence of D and U in others.
h) Wise parents and grandparents can often say, “My lad, now I know you better, I see what you should have become is…..”.

a) Draw a symbolic picture of the PISHB.
b) Spend a day being (as close as possible) to your PISHB.
i) Spend day attempting to be the PISHB.
j) Discover, Describe and Discard Dancer and Urchin.
k) Discover and Present Pilgrim.
l) Share description of D & U, asking for correction.
m) Watch the emergence of D and U in others.
n) Use Visual Parable to experience PISHB
o) Describe and introduce the Pilgrim.
p) Live as a good natured, good mannered Pilgrim.
q) In God’s strength fight a losing battle victoriously.


a) Describe and draw and discard the PISHB
b) Or use you imagination
c) Grieve the loss of the person you should have become, as long as you need to with all the emotions required by grief.
d) Recognize abilities, talents etc. from childhood.
e) What do you find comes easily to you.
f) Obeying God’s commands to love God and others as yourself, What gives you the greatest joy in doing.
g) Gain insight, understand yourself from good feedback, always checking its accuracy against the Bible and your PBP.
h) Estimate time and resources left to you to develop.
i) Negotiate with partner and children, what they can do to help you start afresh. If this is not possible as a vocation, is it possible as an avocation with which you can now be content.
j) Ask God to guide you with insights, dreams etc.
k) Before you try to Love your Neighbour, get to know him well enough that you can glimpse his PBP. It is usually appreciated when you ask, “When you were a kid, what did you always wish to be?” These old dreams are usually secrets so go gently. Once you see his PBP you will quickly see how badly he/she has been neglected.

a) Criminals. To help grieve their PISHB and restart a new life.
b) Elderly. To mourn their PISHB and mark its death with friends.
c) PAS. Grieve the loss of their PISHB then they can truly see their individual child and grieve his loss.
d) PASS Grieve the loss of their PISHB who died in a large measure because they never knew the siblings they required for their PBP.
e) Used, Abused and Neglected. If they can grieve their PISHB there will be little demand for material compensation.
f) Making decisions. Who God intended you to become is far more important than what you do.


“Hey, you can’t sit around like that all day doing nothing”
” Well, I’m waiting for the bee keeper to tell me what to do”
“Don’t be silly. You are a worker bee. Now get with it.”
” Yeah I know. I did some but I need to know what to do next”
“Collect more honey of course”
“I don’t feel ready yet. Besides its not my passion”. I wish I were really energetic like you. How can you keep going and going like that?”
“I’m just doing what comes naturally. When I collect honey there is always enough for me to keep on flying.
“Yeah, that may be okay for you, but you don’t live in my skin”
“No I don’t. We are individuals. But we are sufficiently alike that I can guess what you were designed to do in life. Besides when I do what I am designed to do, it comes so easily, it takes little effort and it brings me joy”
“Stop that insane smile. You may be right but I’m going to rest for awhile to get my strength up before trying to do as you advise.


As the psalms often advocates, sing unto the Lord a new song. This is your song, found in the fine details of your PBP.

Live a new way recognizing that the essential you cannot die because God’s Spirit lives in you and reminds you that you have eternal life.

Now you have grieved the loss of the Person I Should Have Become, the usual anticipatory grief work of you own death is mostly done.

Now there is no need to berate yourself for past failures or be anxious about future flops.

When you obey our Lord he will help you follow your design and it that there is less effort and greater joy. His yoke is easy and his burden is light when you do what comes naturally to you.

God bless you all. Philip G. Ney MD FRCP(C)