I FEEL GOOD SO IT MUST BE GOD’S WILL FOR ME

Philip Ney

18/11/10

Difficult Decision making is maturing
With greater frequency I hear people who have been trying to make a
difficult decision, give a sigh and say, “I feel good now I’ve made this
decision so it must be God’s will for my life. This sounds like the hedonistic
philosophy of a few decades ago, “If it feels good, do it”. It is very similar
and it isn’t God’s way.
The reason’s you can know it isn’t God’s way of either indicating His
way and/or confirming your recent decision are:
a) Having struggled and become tense in trying to make a difficult
decision, you are bound to feel relief whatever the decision is, right
or wrong. Unless of course you are being deliberately disobedient
or stupid. Since the struggle creates tension, when the struggle
suddenly subsides as you stop struggling, you will feel relief and
most people confuse with peace. You feel “peace because you made
a decision at long last, not because you made the right decision.
b) God wants you to struggle to make difficult decisions because:
i) It gets you talking to Him
ii) It increases the time you spend listening to Him.
iii) It teaches you to make difficult decisions and you need
that skill in your everyday life as a Christian.
iv) Since you will be a judge of angels in heaven,(1) you need
to know how to make difficult decisions now.
v) It creates a personal crisis and in the crisis you mature.
God wants His children to grow up and become friends.(2)
c) Because of all these important potential benefits and developments,
He won’t make decision making too easy for you.

Why be angry at God?
Why do people get so angry at God when trying to make hard decisions
and try to make shortcuts?
a) In their hearts they really want the choice to be the easy way. “I
knew God didn’t really want me to speak to my neighbour at this
time, about Him”
b) They have a halfhearted desire to follow Him. In general they would
prefer that God let them lead their usual materialistic life.
c) They fear the right decision will mean they must leave their
comfortable home, give up their new car etc. and work amoung the
poor, distressed pregnant mothers etc., possibly to land in jail or lose
their heads.
d) They would like a “child like faith” which usually means, they want
to be gently pushed into doing, comfortably, what they know they
should.
e) Though they sing and pray “oh to be like Christ” they intuitively
know this means being treated like Him; loved by a few, ignored by
most and hated by all too many.

Convenient Rationalizations
More than most Christians realize, they choose not to choose. They
avoid the struggle as much as possible with some neat rationalizations like:
a) “I can put it off for a while longer while I get myself straightened
out”.
b) “God promised me peace but every time I try to make up my mind, I
feel awful”.
c) “I’ll wait until He gives me a clear sign, like He gave Gideon”
d) “I’m going to first read this book on knowing God’s will that
someone recommended.”
e) “I’ve made a commitment to God that I won’t delay any longer. I
promise to make a decision by Christmas”
f) “Yes, I know I made a promise but during the whole Christmas
holiday, I was so busy with unexpected quests, I couldn’t think
straight. Please forgive me God, again”
When the rationalizations seem to work, i.e. God doesn’t strike them
dead, they inadvertently pass them on to others to use.

Conditioned Passivity
By the laws of Operant Conditioning, any behaviour that is reinforced by
some pleasure or pleasurable activity, will be more likely to reoccur and
become stronger in the individual’s determination to repeat it. This usually
takes place at the subconscious or subliminal level.
This means by providing an interesting sermon, the pastor or priest
inadvertently reinforces (rewards) his congregation, for sitting for that is
what they are doing when he preaches. That passive response to what may
be an urgent appeal by the pastor or priest, to act on behalf of some starving
child or lonely old man, soon generalizes so that almost any appeal or order
is met with passivity.
Not really understanding why they are so passive, many will concoct
rationalizations like those above.
Once this passivity is conditioned, it becomes even more entrenched
when it is infrequently or intermittently reinforced, i.e. some good sermons
but most bad.
This conditioned passivity is at it’s worst when it occurs at a result of
some TV or Video presentation. At least at church, the audience appears
interested and alert. Whereas watching TV at home the audience could be
eating a hot dog, chatting with each other, yawning or dozing. So that these
becomes the behaviors being reinforced (rewarded) by the truly fascinating
preacher appealing for action for people dying from famine in some remote
part of Africa, or more incongruous still; millions of innocent preborn babies
being murdered.

Bad Models
People learn much more by imitation than by instruction
Since pastors frequently use themselves and their experience as
examples, people will follow their example. They may preach concern for
the poor but drive a new car,
How often are pastors seen at the ProLife Chain, standing on the street
corner holding a sign which reads, Abortion Kills Babies”, while people
drive by giving them the finger.
I wonder if it occurs to the congregation that if their pastor leads them,
he can only walk backwards for he is so used to facing them from behind a
pulpit on a platform. Walking backwards he is likely to fall head over
teakettle.
Jesus taught most of the time, to people standing up; often when they
were walking. Jesus usually taught after he had lead his followers thru a
challenging experience like rowing into a storm in an uncomfortable open
boat. Try it some time if you really want to get what Jesus was teaching.

Engineered Emotional Experience in Church
It doesn’t help modern Christians to make clear thoughtful decisions
when there is such an emphasis in evangelical churches on “praising the
Lord.” With the loud speakers cranked to full volume and the power point
projector showing a simple tune with even simpler melody backed by a
lovely scene of trees and waterfall in a darkened auditorium how can you
hear God. The lively tunes are sang with such vigor and feeling by the
“worship team” that most of the congregation get caught up in the emotion.
How is a sane person to know what is engineered emotion or a strong affect
attending some unique revelation straight from the Lord Himself? Most
don’t try to discern but let themselves be manipulated into having a
“wonderful” experience that leaves them sooner than they leave the church.
Amos the shepherd wrote for his generation and ours also. “Away with
your hymns of praise! They are only noise to my ears. I will not listen to
your music, no matter how lovely it is. Instead I want to see a might flood
of justice, a river of righteous living that will never run dry.”(2) It isn’t so
hard to make a rational decision when God’s laws and principles are so
clearly stated.
Doesn’t it occur to Christians that a true emotion follows, not precedes a
real experience. That being so, we must encounter God first. The emotions
of joy, repentance, grief, fear etc will naturally follow. Thus the teaching
from God’s word should precede, not follow the “worship”. Otherwise the
feeling is likely to have been deliberately engendered.

Men of truth
The person Christians should listen to: are not popular, seem a little
strange, live unconventionally, often in the wilderness of polite society,
aren’t peaceful and maybe rude. What they say or shout does not make one
feel comfortable. They are too persistent. They never seem to take no for an
answer. There is a strident urgency to their teaching.
They are usually ignored in their day. When they die, not many come
to their simple funeral, for that would fulfill Christ’s prediction about the
hypocritical way real prophets are treated.
Mind you, they may spark controversy, but any doubts are quickly set
to rest by respected elders who assure each other, that if God was really
using him, he would have a larger following “and besides, he not a man of
peace.”

Re-enacting unresolved conflicts
As God made men and women, He built into their biology, homeostatic
mechanisms. They are more likely to live a longer time if their biochemistry
and psychology work in carefully balanced harmony. External and internal
conflict results in the unnecessary expenditure of energy.
Subconscious mechanisms make people resolve fights, particularly fights
within themselves. It starts with, “Why do I keep doing this. It invariably
results in someone, usually me, getting hurt.” This drive to reenact
progresses to, “I found the right person. (girl friend, author, preacher etc.)
He/she understands me completely”
Everyone wants to be understood, for that is the prerequisite to having
one’s needs met. Being understood feels so good. “I don’t feel alone
anymore”. “ I guess, I’m not so crazy after all.” “Thank you God for
finding him for me. I feel sure he is the right one”
Little do people realize, that person understands you so well because
they have similar conflicts; ones that you will now coach each other into reenacting.
So it starts with a warm fuzzy feeling and ends with shouting and
fighting like never before.
Yes they were the right person, if your intent was to resolve some
deep, painful conflict arising out of childhood trauma, usually. If you want
to have joy and partnership, they are exactly wrong. This assortative pairing
for conflict resolution is probably the best explanation of why tragedy
repeats in the lives of wounded people.(3)

Feelings are indicators, not directors
God has equipped humans with at least 14 senses: sight, hearing, smell,
touch, pain, position, itch, nausea, tickle, motion, sneeze, anticipation,
intuition and spirit. Combinations of these produce an amazing array of
possibilities, like puzzlement, humor, peace and many mixtures of happysad,
angry-grief etc.
Like the indicator lights on a car or planes dashboard, they are to let the
driver/pilot know what is going on in the machinery he can’t see. They are
not there to tell the driver/pilot which way to steer. The good pilot/driver
sees a red light blinking and thinks, “oh oh, the engine is running low on oil.
I must add some the next time I get gas”. He doesn’t think, “Oh my, I guess
I should never have driven today” or more stupidly. “I better stop right
here.” (in the middle of a busy freeway)
Likewise, no good pilot/driver thinks that because he doesn’t see any
red light that all is well with the machine. He knows from painful
experience that the indicator light may have blown, or some bearing is
getting hot but there are no sensors for it etc.
So it is with humans. Because they feel peaceful or stressed, doesn’t
dictate what they must do next. They take that feeling or perception under
advisement. Depending on a host of other factors, it may help them decide
what to do.

A Sensible Solution
Use you head, man/lady.
The whole bible is directed to our thinking. It seems that God values our
minds, even if many people don’t. God says I want you to know me. If you
think about this, it’s mind boggling. To know God would entail knowing
everything He knows. To think like Him. Yet Paul tells us to have the mind
of Christ. Jesus taught, “Instead, I call you friends for everything that I
learned from my Father, I have made known to you.” (4)
Even the best utilized brain is working well under capacity. There is
good evidence it is good for you to use your mind. You live longer and if
you can obtain insight, you will live more wisely.
Your mind is an amazing God given computer. So when making
decisions, use it. And use it well. Don’t keep giving precedence to your
feelings.
When making a decision, follow the principles laid down in scripture.
You cannot go too far wrong when both be as reasonable and rational as
possible and at the same time, rely on the Lord to speak into your mind as
you deliberate. (5)

Listen to your dreams
Daniel told the mighty king Nebucanezer. “…because God wanted you
to know what you were thinking”. (6) Much of our deepest contemplation
takes place in the subconscious but few people are able to tap into it. What a
pity. However, dreams give you in a highly compressed and symbolic
fashion, what you are really thinking.
Dreams are most often about wishes and fears. Write them down and
get someone to discuss them with you. And don’t let some religious people
put you off with “its all just nonsense” or worse still. “The devil is putting
bad ideas in your mind. Don’t listen to him.” Tell those people to get out
their concordance and do a study of the word dream in the bible.

Turn off the TV
It is putting garbage in your mind.(7) TV always lies in that it can never
tell the whole truth. It compresses time, doesn’t give you the smells, cannot
see any scene from all the angles etc. So, garbage in, garbage out. You put
trash into your mind, you will have trashy thoughts and emotions. Besides,
God very seldom speaks thru TV. He speaks in a still small voice in the
amazing cathedrals of wood that He constructs, the tall and the small trees
and rocks.

Carefully pick your teachers, preachers and advisors
It is better that they don’t know you. For should they, they will be
swayed by previous impressions or desire not to upset you.
Pick those who are more likely to disturb you than the ones who make
you feel God.

Get to know God better
Paul said he got to know Christ in the fellowship of His sufferings.(6)
The world has grown quickly more evil than it was in Christ’s day. Do you
think it is possible to not encounter severe opposition and persecution in
serving Christ nowadays?
Know God in turmoil and the small spaces of calm and peace that God
uses to keep us going.
Talk with God all day, everyday.

Get used to feeling uncomfortable
It is not any easy road. Anyone who preaches peace and prosperity
should first read what the ancient Israeli prophets said about such people in
their day.
If for no other reason, if you are on the right track, you will be very
aware of how you fall short everyday. It will get you on your knees, humbly
asking to be forgiven.

Yes you can have peace and anxiety at the same time
Your peace is in knowing that your name is written in the Lamb’s Book
Of Life. Neither Hell nor high water can remove your name once Jesus
writes it there.

Get moving
No seaman can steer a ship that is sitting idle in the water.
God has a much better chance of directing you in your mind and heart
(emotions) once you get moving.
And don’t forget to always pray, the Lord willing we will do this and
that. Having prayed this, in faith you can know that the Lord will steer you
away, if it isn’t His will.

Get rid of encumbrances
It is often materials but it could be some not good influences friends you
must shed. The less you have the faster you can react. The less you have,
the less you worry about. The less you worry, the better you think clearly
and hear God.

Gain insight
The bible tells us to gain insight, an accurate awareness of ourselves.
You can start on your own, by listing your triggers. These are thing to
which you respond with a disproportionate amount of feeling. Once you
have listed the triggers to: fear, despair, anger, frustration, being judgmental,
joy, peace, try to determine the origin of that feeling in the present and in the
past.

Scripture
The scripture is your road. Don’t wander off it. Yet on a good road, you
still must steer, accelerate and brake when you mind tells you that is the
right course of action.
And don’t think it gets easier as you age. God is going to keep pushing
you right to the last earthly minuet to make you Christ like. Mature in His
image.
So how do you know if you made the right decision.

You can’t know
At least not for sure and not in this life,
In this fallen world, there is virtually no decision you make that doesn’t
affect at least one person adversely. Remember that Jesus during his earthly
ministry though sinless, could not be in more than one place at a time.
When he was preaching and healing in Capernaum, there were people in
Nazareth that were suffering because He wasn’t there.
It is a good thing that God doesn’t judge us according the adequacy of
what we do but according to our motive and our good attempt. Our motive
must always be to meet another’s needs for that is love. Can we ever meet
those needs completely? Obviously not, for that would be to make a perfect
person and only God can do that and not until the resurrection.
So our efforts are always limited and our motives seldom pure. Yet
Christ in love forgives us daily and forgets from one day to the next what
sins of omission and commission we commit when each night we ask Him
to forgive us and all of mankind for our lack of effort and inadequacy.
Remember God’s rule of reciprocity. (7) When we love, we are being
loved at the same moment. When we hate, destroying and neglecting, we
are deeply injuring ourselves. Therefore being pragmatic, it pays to be
loving.
Likewise remember, it is impossible to benefit at the expense of your
neighbour. If it isn’t good for him, it will not be advantageous to you

Having Made a Firm Decision
Stick with your decision and always regard it as a commitment, until
your work is finished, no retirement in the bible, or until your commitment is
fulfilled or until it is clear you are doing more harm than good. You don’t
have to make a big show about your decision; just a simple, “Yes” or “No”,
“I will or “I won’t” is what God wants.
Rejoice in the fact that having prayed and told others “I will do this or
that, IF THE LORD WILLS”, you can relax sing His praises. Yet never use
as Deo Volente as an excuse to cope out. The Lord reads your motives
every moment. He knows when you are being selfish.
If you want a test case for yourself. Being honest to God, decide
whether or not you should risk your job or freedom on behalf of the preborn
babies who are dying just down the street from where you live.

References
1. Paul an apostle, I Cor. 6:3.
2. Amos, Shepard and prophet. Amos 5: 23 & 24.
3. Ney, PG. Child mistreatment: possible reasons for its
transgenerational transmission. Can J Psychiatry, 1989,190:594-801
4. Jesus Messiah, Matthew. 23:29
5. Jesus Messiah, John. 15:15
6. Ney PG. Knowing God’s will for my life. www.messengers2.com
7. Ney PG. TV www.messengers2.com
8. Daniel prophet, Daniel;2:30
9. Ney PG The universal ethic of mutual benefit. Turkish J. Medical
Ethics. 1994; 2:53-58,
10.Paul, an apostle. Philippians 3:10