Parenting 101 – Skit 4

Dr. Philip Ney

Imitation

Mabel: Hi Jake. How was your day?

Jake: As rotten as ever. How was yours?

Mabel: Those kids give me a hard time. I caught Johnny smoking. Here’s your strap. You had better really give it to him.

Jake: How come I’ve got to do all the harsh stuff around here? Small wonder the kid’s don’t like me.

Mabel: Now look Jake, they don’t have to like you. At least they obey you, which is more than they do for me.

Jake: Only out of fear. I hate that. I’d like to be close to my kids. There were sure no good feelings between me and my Paw, God rest him.

Mabel: Well I keep telling those kids that they must not smoke. It is very bad for their health. I saw some new statistics on the TV. Why don’t those kids ever listen to me?

Jake: I guess it’s the advertising Mabel. It always makes kids think it’s cool to smoke.

Mabel: But they should listen to what their parents tell them. We send them to Sunday School. What do they teach them there?

Jake: Mabel, I sure would appreciate it if you wouldn’t blow smoke in my face.

Mabel: Well look Jake, I will smoke if I want; it’s my body.

Jake: Didn’t you learn anything from your father? Look at the miserable death he had from lung cancer.

Mabel: He lived a pretty good life. He got as far as 52. I figure if I could make it that far I’ve had a good life.

Jake: Mabel, did you ever figure the kids smoke because you do?

Mabel: Nope Jake. It’s got nothing to do with that. I am responsible for what I do and they’ve got to be responsible for what they do. If I chose to smoke that’s my business. If I die of cancer, so what’s that to you and the kids? Besides, I keep drumming it into their heads that if you smoke you are more likely to die of lung cancer, heart disease emphysema and all the rest of the really nasty ones.

Jake: How come all that knowledge doesn’t affect your smoking Mabel?

Mabel: I smoke because I enjoy it. It helps me relax.

Jake: I get it Mabel. You think all the statistics that have no affect on you should have an affect on the kids.

Mabel: Well we didn’t know all of those things when I was a kid.

Jake: Well what about now Mabel? I don’t really don’t want to lose you and I sure hate to see the kids ruining their health. Mabel, I think that regardless of what kind of information you or the kids have, you smoke and they smoke, because you saw other people smoking and relaxing. I noticed you almost always have the TV on or a cup of coffee in your hand when you smoke. When you’re working you are not smoking.

Mabel: Maybe that’s right, but I’m too old to quit now. Do you want me to get you a cup of coffee? I feel like having another smoke.

Jake: Mabel, you know I can get cancer from your 2nd hand smoke. I saw a TV program about a guy who sued his partner for smoking because he got cancer. So remember Mabel, if I get cancer I can sue you.

Mabel: You’d like that Jake.

Jake: No Mabel, even though you are cranky much of the time, I love you. Mind you, when I go to kiss you your breath smells like burned shoe leather.

Mabel: Jake you get out of here.